Testosterone plus rat equals ugly night

THE myth: testosterone is the hormone responsible for male aggression, and leads to violence, drug-taking, a preference for lowered suspension, mag wheels and doof-doof music played too loud at traffic lights. The reality: new research reveals testosterone is actually the hormone of choice for those seeking elevated social status. Scientists from Zurich and London have observed that it increases fair behaviour in humans - because fairness is less likely to be rejected by the group and so more likely to enhance status. This is good news, we suppose - although it does make the world a blander place. Only in rats do higher testosterone levels lead to aggression. The average rat, not being a particularly deep thinker, sees aggression as the way to raise its status. Rats, we are sure readers will agree, have appalling dress sense and are notorious two-pot screamers - and testosterone just makes them worse. One positive emerges from this research: science may inadvertently have found the explanation for what goes on in The Rocks every Saturday night.